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Function of resentment...

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Post by Elrick on June 4th 2010, 10:52 am

Function of resentment... Forgiveness-1

How the psychological function of resentment is more dependent on our inner needs than upon our outer circumstances?. How this is one of the most futile and destructive emotions?

It's Futile. It's Destructive. It's Blinding. But this universal emotion does have its rewards. It assures us of our own impotence. And it allows us to hang on to our image of ourselves as fundamentally good- whatever our actual behavior.

Of all the futile and destructive emotions to which human beings are prey, perhaps the most universal is resentment. Surely there can be few people who have not wasted many hours or even years of their life dwelling on the wrongs supposedly done to them. In my experience, people generally spend rather less time dwelling in the wrongs they have done to others.

Since we live in world of perpetual injustice, everyone supposes he or she has real cause to feel resentful. But the resentment we feel is by no means proportional to its alleged cause, methinks.

By contrast, people who have experienced horrifying treatment during civil war or other calamities are often singularly free of resentment. This is further proof, if any were needed, that this most destructive of emotions is more dependent upon inner need than upon outer circumstances.

Considering the importance of resentment in our lives, and the damage it does, it receives scant attention from psychiatrists and psychologists. I think resentment is a great rationalizer: it presents us with selected versions of our own past, so that we do not recognize our own mistakes and avoid the necessity to make painful choices.

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Post by Linda on June 4th 2010, 1:12 pm

Good post Elrick, we only hurt ourselves when we hang on to resentment. (-:
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Post by Elrick on June 5th 2010, 8:36 am

Very true Linda, and thank you for your comments.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.“~ Mark Twain

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Post by Linda on June 5th 2010, 3:48 pm

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.“~ Mark Twain
Birthday Joy Elrick, this is one of my favorite forgiveness quotes, funny how you used this one. (-:
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Post by Spirit-Being on June 8th 2010, 8:50 am

In my life i have seen something in myself that i did not like so much, most of my life i would blame other people for how i was feeling whether it was Anger, Self Pity, or any felling or emotion that was not so peaceful. I realize that Blaming others for how i feel, turns my focus away from myself, in turn slowing progress of understanding my own Inner workings of the mind. Wonderful post Elrick very eye opening.

Many Blessings


Last edited by Spirit-Being on June 14th 2010, 7:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Elrick on June 8th 2010, 10:32 am

Thank you Spirit-Being for your comments.
And yes, no one is responsible for our feelings and emotions. We own them!
Every so often, when an old wound is triggered, a blaze of anger may blast out, scorching those nearby, or a tidal wave of sadness may threaten to drown them. It's no wonder people begin to suppress and repress emotions and feelings. Yet, it's the unexpressed emotions that are the most intimidating; they band together like bullies, waiting to pounce at a vulnerable moment. Yet when emotions are acknowledged and faced straight on, they soften, lighten and release all together.

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Post by Vanilla2 on June 8th 2010, 10:33 am

I was just a teenager when a family of a Vicar and his daughter were held in their vicarage by an intruder who then proceeded to rape the vicar's daughter right there in front of him by making him watch, this was one of the most appalling, degrading, humiliating, terrible crimes of that era. Some time later it was made known that both the vicar and daughter forgave her sex attacker, something that at my young age, and even now if I'm honest, can't fully understand, but I do now understand that that is/was the only way forward for them to be able to lead a "normal" life".

Elrick, apologies I think our two posts crossed.

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